Q: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks!
54 down/ 311 to go
Friday, May 16, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, under the sea
Q: How did the marine mollusk pay for college?
A: He earned a SCALLOPship!
53 down/ 312 to go
A: He earned a SCALLOPship!
53 down/ 312 to go
Under the sea
Q: Why was the tuna wearing a tie?
A: He wanted to be sofFISHticated.
52 down/ 313 to go
A: He wanted to be sofFISHticated.
52 down/ 313 to go
Animal jokes have never failed me before
So, we're back to animal jokes. I guess animals are just inherently funny to me.
Also, my friend just sent me a great one:
Q: How do you make a squid laugh?
A: You give him TEN Tickles!
51 down/ 314 to go
Also, my friend just sent me a great one:
Q: How do you make a squid laugh?
A: You give him TEN Tickles!
51 down/ 314 to go
So... Doctor related humor didn't give me as much material as I thought it would
Q: How many doctor jokes are there?
A: Three. The rest are true stories.
50 down/ 315 to go
A: Three. The rest are true stories.
50 down/ 315 to go
More doctor jokes
Q: Why did the surgeon quit his job?
A: He just couldn't cut it.
49 down/ 316 to go
A: He just couldn't cut it.
49 down/ 316 to go
Laugh the illness away
Hi Everyone,
I hope you have all been well. I have not. I am recovering from strep throat which makes teaching elementary school music a challenge.
Many people consider laughter the best medicine. I prefer to trust my pharmacist who prescribed me actual medicine. It's probably better for my sore throat than laughter.
Anyway, I'm rambling. And you came here for jokes. So, here's a joke about being sick.
Q: Did you hear about the lady who swallowed a typewriter?
A: She's suffering from irritable VOWEL syndrome!
48 down/ 317 to go
I hope you have all been well. I have not. I am recovering from strep throat which makes teaching elementary school music a challenge.
Many people consider laughter the best medicine. I prefer to trust my pharmacist who prescribed me actual medicine. It's probably better for my sore throat than laughter.
Anyway, I'm rambling. And you came here for jokes. So, here's a joke about being sick.
Q: Did you hear about the lady who swallowed a typewriter?
A: She's suffering from irritable VOWEL syndrome!
48 down/ 317 to go
Friday, May 9, 2014
School daze
Q: Did you hear about the pencil with an eraser on each end?
A: It was kind of pointless.
47 down/ 318 to go
A: It was kind of pointless.
47 down/ 318 to go
Thursday, May 8, 2014
I NEVER want to get this far behind again
Seriously. This was a pain. I NEVER EVER EVER want to get this far behind in the blog again...
Sigh... See you all in a month.
Q: What's a superstitious procrastinator's worst fear?
A: Saturday the 14th!!
46 down/ 319 to go
Sigh... See you all in a month.
Q: What's a superstitious procrastinator's worst fear?
A: Saturday the 14th!!
46 down/ 319 to go
I like school jokes, but I don't like class clowns. (I hate clowns).
Q: Why did the kindergartener not want to go to school?
A: She was afraid of the SCHOOL SPIRIT!
45 down/ 320 to go
A: She was afraid of the SCHOOL SPIRIT!
45 down/ 320 to go
Some more school-related jokes
Q: Why don't math teachers visit the jungle?
A: If they add 4+4 they get ATE!
44 down/ 321 to go
A: If they add 4+4 they get ATE!
44 down/ 321 to go
Only a few more until I'm caught up
Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
43 down/ 322 to go
A: To get to the same side!
43 down/ 322 to go
School's (almost) our for the summer
Good news/ Bad news time
The good news: I am done with elephant jokes. At least for now.
The bad news: I still have 323 jokes left to tell.
Q: What do you say when comforting an English teacher?
A: There, their, they're.
42 down/ 323 to go
So... Like... Elephants...
Q: What do elephants do for laughs?
A: They tell PEOPLE jokes!
41 down/ 324 to go
A: They tell PEOPLE jokes!
41 down/ 324 to go
I am so close to being caught up
Q: What do you do with a blue elephant?
A: Try to cheer him up!
40 down/ 325 to go
A: Try to cheer him up!
40 down/ 325 to go
Someone help me. I can't stop
Q: What has six legs, three ears, four tusks, and two trunks?
A: An elephant with spare parts!
39 down/ 326 to go
A: An elephant with spare parts!
39 down/ 326 to go
Okay. One more actually
Q: Why don't elephants ride bicycles?
A: They don't have thumbs to ring the bell.
38 down/ 327 to go
A: They don't have thumbs to ring the bell.
38 down/ 327 to go
Final elephant joke
Q: Where do you go to find elephants?
A: Wherever you left them!
37 down/ 328 to go
A: Wherever you left them!
37 down/ 328 to go
Just two more elephant jokes. I promise...
Q: How do you make an elephant float?
A: Take two scoops of ice cream, some soda, and one elephant!
NOTE: Please do not attempt to really do this.
36 down/ 329 to go
A: Take two scoops of ice cream, some soda, and one elephant!
NOTE: Please do not attempt to really do this.
36 down/ 329 to go
Maybe it's time to tell jokes about something else
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
A: You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant.
35 down/ 330 to go
A: You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant.
35 down/ 330 to go
Okay. Maybe I am a little tired of elephant jokes
Q: What's grey and puts our forest fires?
A: Smokey The ELEPHANT!
34 down/ 331 to go
A: Smokey The ELEPHANT!
34 down/ 331 to go
Still not tired of elephant jokes
Q: What kind of elephants live at the north pole?
A: Cold ones!
33 down/ 332 to go
A: Cold ones!
33 down/ 332 to go
Seriously. Elephant jokes are the best
Q: What's grey and has four legs and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on vacation!
BOOM! See what I did there?
32 down/ 333 to go
A: A mouse going on vacation!
BOOM! See what I did there?
32 down/ 333 to go
I still like elephant jokes
Q: What do you call an elephant who rides the bus?
A: A passenger!
31 down/ 334 to go
A: A passenger!
31 down/ 334 to go
Yes... There will be more elephants
Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: He didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate!
30 down/ 335 to go
A: He didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate!
30 down/ 335 to go
So many more elephants
Q: Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A: So he could hide in a bowl of cherries!
29 down/ 336 to go
A: So he could hide in a bowl of cherries!
29 down/ 336 to go
More elephants
Q: How do you know if an elephant is hiding under your blanket?
A: When you get into bed, your nose touches the ceiling!
28 down/ 337 to go
A: When you get into bed, your nose touches the ceiling!
28 down/ 337 to go
Elephant jokes
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a heard of elephants wearing sunglasses?
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them!
27 down/ 338 to go
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them!
27 down/ 338 to go
It was bound to happen eventually
Well... We all knew this day was coming, so let's just embrace it and have fun!
ELEPHANT JOKE TIME!
Q: How do you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A: Grapes are purple!
26 down/ 339 to go
Okay... Maybe frog jokes aren't all that funny.
Q: How do frogs communicate over long distances?
A: They use Morse TOAD!
25 down/ 340 to go
A: They use Morse TOAD!
25 down/ 340 to go
Well... I think frogs are funny
Q: What happened to the frog's car when his parking meeter expired?
A: It got TOAD!
24 down/ 341 to go
A: It got TOAD!
24 down/ 341 to go
Frogs are still funny... Right?
Q: What did the frog wear on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Nothing!
23 down/ 342 to go
A: Nothing!
23 down/ 342 to go
Frogs are kind of funny... Right?
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
22 down/ 343 to go
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
22 down/ 343 to go
More animal jokes
It turns out that weather related jokes can only be funny for so long.
And even then...
So, let's get back to a time-tested favorite:
Animal jokes!
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly!
21 down/ 344 to go
And even then...
So, let's get back to a time-tested favorite:
Animal jokes!
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly!
21 down/ 344 to go
I know it's the wrong month for this joke, but humor me
Q: What type of weather causes monkeys to fall from the sky?
A: APE-ril showers!
20 down/ 245 to go
A: APE-ril showers!
20 down/ 245 to go
Rain rain go away?
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: FOWL weather!
19 down/ 346 to go
A: FOWL weather!
19 down/ 346 to go
I'm getting help for my procrastination problem... Tomorrow... Or whenever...
Hi Interwebs Friends,
Well it's happened again. I've failed to update my blog for an entire month. The whole 365 days thing seemed so much easier in theory.
Enough self-pity and insincere apologies though. You people came here for jokes.
Since I'm currently sitting in a Caribou Coffee waiting out a rainstorm, let's catch up with some weather-related jokes.
Q: What did one raindrop say to another?
A: Two's company, three's a cloud!
16 down/ 349 to go
Well it's happened again. I've failed to update my blog for an entire month. The whole 365 days thing seemed so much easier in theory.
Enough self-pity and insincere apologies though. You people came here for jokes.
Since I'm currently sitting in a Caribou Coffee waiting out a rainstorm, let's catch up with some weather-related jokes.
Q: What did one raindrop say to another?
A: Two's company, three's a cloud!
16 down/ 349 to go
Monday, April 7, 2014
April showers continue to bring jokes about bunnies
Q: What do you get when your pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
A: A hot, cross, bunny!
15 down/ 350 to go
Note: Please don't pour boiling water down a rabbit hole.
A: A hot, cross, bunny!
15 down/ 350 to go
Note: Please don't pour boiling water down a rabbit hole.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Back on track
On March 28th, five days after starting his blog, Casey Andree forgot to post a joke. Then he forgot again, and again, and again. In doing so, he lost his self-respect, his devoted following, and any credibility he ever had with his students (seriously, I can never lecture them about getting behind on their homework again).
However, I have returned. The prodigal son has come home, and, if you're still willing to read my jokes, I'm still willing to post them.
So, with that being said, the best way to get back on schedule is with a zombie joke. (Get it? Because I'm back from the dead).
Q: What does it take to be a successful zombie blogger?
A: Lots and lots of DEADication!
14 down/ 351
Seriously, I don't think I'll ever get tired of bunny jokes
Q: Did you hear about the rabbit who got rich?
A: He's now a billionHARE!
13 down/ 352 to go
A: He's now a billionHARE!
13 down/ 352 to go
Spring has sprung?
If the title has you worried, fear not. I have no intention of making any kind of spring-related jokes yet. Not until every last drop of snow has melted away.
However, I have run out of good polar bear jokes, so we need to move to a different topic.
Since Easter is approaching, it's only appropriate that I tell some bunny-related jokes.
Q: What do rabbits do after their wedding?
A: They go on their BUNNYmoon!
10 down/ 355 to go
However, I have run out of good polar bear jokes, so we need to move to a different topic.
Since Easter is approaching, it's only appropriate that I tell some bunny-related jokes.
Q: What do rabbits do after their wedding?
A: They go on their BUNNYmoon!
10 down/ 355 to go
Final Polar Bear Joke
Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: It doesn't matter! He's probably going to eat you anyway!
9 down/ 356 to go
A: It doesn't matter! He's probably going to eat you anyway!
9 down/ 356 to go
Penultimate Polar Bear Joke
Q: What do you call a polar bear who's wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you want! He can't hear you!
8 down/ 357 to go
A: Anything you want! He can't hear you!
8 down/ 357 to go
Still Playing Catch-Up
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A happy polar bear!
7 down/ 358 to go
Playing Catch-Up
Q: What do polar bears like to grill when they cook outside?
A: Brr - Grrs!
6 down/ 359 to go
A: Brr - Grrs!
6 down/ 359 to go
I am the WORST blogger ever
Hi Everyone,
I know what you're thinking: "Casey is the worst blog writer of all time. He promised 365 days of jokes, and he failed after only 4."
To that, I have two things to say.
First and foremost, I'm sorry. I let you down, and I apologize.
However. If you look closely at the fine print, you will find that nowhere do I promise one joke per day. I promised 365 jokes in 365 days, and I assure you that I will deliver on this promise. The blog is NOT dead.
So... Let's play catch up, shall we?
It's still winter, no matter what the radio forecast tells me, so the polar bear jokes must continue.
Q: What does a polar bear call a balanced diet?
A: A seal in each hand!
5 down, 360 to go
I know what you're thinking: "Casey is the worst blog writer of all time. He promised 365 days of jokes, and he failed after only 4."
To that, I have two things to say.
First and foremost, I'm sorry. I let you down, and I apologize.
However. If you look closely at the fine print, you will find that nowhere do I promise one joke per day. I promised 365 jokes in 365 days, and I assure you that I will deliver on this promise. The blog is NOT dead.
So... Let's play catch up, shall we?
It's still winter, no matter what the radio forecast tells me, so the polar bear jokes must continue.
Q: What does a polar bear call a balanced diet?
A: A seal in each hand!
5 down, 360 to go
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Winter Persists
Well everyone, the people's republic of Minneapolis has officially lifted all winter parking restrictions... Just in time for another snow storm.
Winter is clearly not over, and we don't do ourselves any favors by pretending it is. So today I bring you yet another polar bear joke.
Q: What does a polar bear eat after going to the dentist?
A: The dentist!
4 down/ 361 to go
Winter is clearly not over, and we don't do ourselves any favors by pretending it is. So today I bring you yet another polar bear joke.
Q: What does a polar bear eat after going to the dentist?
A: The dentist!
4 down/ 361 to go
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
More Polar Bears
Q: What's a polar bear's favorite candy?
A: Igloos! Crunchy on the outside with a chewy center!
3 down/ 362 to go.
A: Igloos! Crunchy on the outside with a chewy center!
3 down/ 362 to go.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Spring? I think not.
It's tempting to think that, once the weather starts warming up and the snow starts melting, spring has come. People trade in their boots for flip flops, splash in puddles, and, most importantly, tell spring-related jokes.
I however, am a realist. My years of experience have taught me that winter isn't over until it's over. Mother nature isn't ready for spring-related jokes, and I'm not one to tempt fate.
So, for the remainder or March, I'll be embracing the winter weather by telling polar bear jokes.
Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would freeze in Hawaiian shirts!
1 down/ 364 to go.
I however, am a realist. My years of experience have taught me that winter isn't over until it's over. Mother nature isn't ready for spring-related jokes, and I'm not one to tempt fate.
So, for the remainder or March, I'll be embracing the winter weather by telling polar bear jokes.
Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would freeze in Hawaiian shirts!
1 down/ 364 to go.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Prelude
The Subject:
How many aquarium salesmen DOES it take to change a lightbulb? Why DID the chicken cross the road? Who or what is knock knocking at the door?
Wikipedia defines a joke as something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes come in many shapes and forms, but the intention is always the same. To make people laugh.
The Contender:
Music educator by day, renegade comedian by night. Too corny for print, to earnest for comedy clubs, and unable to think of anything better, Casey Andree was looking for a challenge. And in the 365 Days/365 Jokes Project, he found it. Risking his social life, his sanity, and the well being cat, he signed on for a deranged assignment.
365 Days. 365 Jokes.
One boy and his macbook. Beginning tomorrow.
How many aquarium salesmen DOES it take to change a lightbulb? Why DID the chicken cross the road? Who or what is knock knocking at the door?
Wikipedia defines a joke as something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes come in many shapes and forms, but the intention is always the same. To make people laugh.
The Contender:
Music educator by day, renegade comedian by night. Too corny for print, to earnest for comedy clubs, and unable to think of anything better, Casey Andree was looking for a challenge. And in the 365 Days/365 Jokes Project, he found it. Risking his social life, his sanity, and the well being cat, he signed on for a deranged assignment.
365 Days. 365 Jokes.
One boy and his macbook. Beginning tomorrow.
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